My changing vulnerable views on OSS and contributions

I have been a long time open source user, fan, contributor and all that’s possible to be. At one point of time I was very involved in open source, contributing to the likes of firefox or CI-Bonfire. It was fun and I was learning a lot but at one point of time I was not satisfied. I knew that I had my contribution to the web, to move the web forward and to make things easier for the next new contributor. But, the question was why do I want the web to win? That brought me to think that web was a big enabler and it was the most that I could relate to as a developer and as a user.Maybe I was being selfish and close minded thinking that the web was all, the next big thing and not even thinking or working on other platforms. The web did become big, enabled millions and billions, but still there was something missing.

Last week, I was talking to a MBA friend of mine and he casually mentioned how he had learned programming and how it was useful for him in his work and how he wanted to learn more to do simple automated tasks or just create relate different documents / data and graph them out. Then it came to me that I have been learning to develop, push the limits of software for some years now, but have I made a difference ? Maybe not. Has it even enabled me ? Maybe not.

Days of musing on what I have been doing and thinking on what I should’ve been doing and I was still not convinced that I have been playing my part or making a difference. I would still be looking for that spark, that fine thing where I could use my little knowledge and make work easier for someone. We are humans after all, and learning the next big framework might not just be it. Have you made a difference? Have you used your knowledge as an enabling medium ?

I am still quite confused, maybe will have a clear state of mind soon.